By Britny Belskis
It’s great to meet again in this new month of opportunities.
As this month started off, I was overwhelmed with classes and life occurrences leading to anxiety attacks creeping in and out. That’s when I leaned on my higher power, and it all turned around for me.
I feel most freed when I journal my challenges, hurts or pains. In many recovery programs, we call this “taking inventory.” Once you write this list down, (It takes time.) share it with someone you trust. This inventory sheet deals with hurts, habits or even hang-ups we all have. You will need to section this out as such to work on these different areas. I would like to work through a mock inventory sheet so you can truly experience healing on your own.
The first category we are looking at is “the person.” In this column, you can list the people in your past you are angry with, have hurt you, or you may fear. For me, when I did my own inventory, in this column I wrote down those who have hurt me.
For example, I wrote down a teacher I had in elementary school who didn’t understand how to best teach a child with a visual disability. She put me in the back of the classroom, out of sight, which slowed my learning opportunity. It took many years for me to finally forgive her and that situation.
Now, I know it’s never easy to bring back painful past experiences, but with strength, courage and guidance you can do it and find healing in the process.
I also had a childhood friend who would size me up and tell me my clothes weren’t cool and that her name brand clothes were better. Some people can be hurtful without ever knowing it. This brings me to the next category on your inventory list — “the cause” — of these hurtful actions. For me, the cause in the first scenario was the unawareness and lack of training of the school teacher to deal with my impairment. In the second scenario, we must all realize kids can say some hurtful things without even realizing it. That same person today as an adult would probably be embarrassed by her comments.
Addressing these things can be painful, but remember you have people in your corner who are cheering you on, loving you no matter what has happened to you in your life. There is a verse in the Bible that has helped me through this healing journey and that is Isiah 41:10 CEB.
As we continue this journey together, we will look at “the effects” or the outcome of that hurt. So for me, in my examples of the teacher or the childhood friend, the effect of that hurt is my feelings sometime of insecurity, lack of confidence or not be able to trust others completely. Can anyone else relate? Know you are not alone; I’m in the same club, so are many others!
The last thing that we look at is “the damage,” which refers to the damage these hurts have brought on in our lives. When I did this step, I journaled out what the damage looked like from my point of view. In many cases, l find your point of view may be far greater and bigger than reality because it happened to you. That’s why we share with others our stories and lean on people to help see us through it. Regardless of your personal damage, know this is not your identity. You have been chosen, you have been forgiven, forgive others who. in many cases, have no idea they hurt you and free yourself from the bondage that had you paralyzed. Remember, every day is a new day; you are brand new and fully healed through your higher power. Until next time, friends, keep believing in yourself and keep the faith!