Make us laugh with funny things your kids say

TURNER – Turner Publishing Inc. has been sharing funny stories submitted by readers and the column, titled “Funny Things Kids Say,” has been popular with our readers. We would like to share your funny story, too. Randomly we select names from among the Funny Things submissions and give away gift certificates to local restaurants to the winners. You can enter as many funny things as you want, but each entry must be emailed separately or mailed separately. Here are some submissions we received in 2016:

My 3-year-old grandson had just started Sunday school. I was making lunch and we were going on the deck. I told my grandson to close the door. He thought for a minute and said, “Let God do it.”
He had learned that God was everywhere and can do anything. – Dorothy Pooler in Winslow.

I was in my room watching TV when my 5-year-old grand-daughter Jocelynn walked in the room.
“What are you watching, Nana?” she asked.
I replied, “M.A.S.H.” to which she asked, “Is that a cooking show?” – Donna Dalton in Jay.

When she was 11 years old, my granddaughter Becca and I went to the library. It was closed. When we got home I checked the calendar and told her it was closed because it was Patriots Day. She said, “They must’ve had a big game!” – Grammy in Gardiner.

We had just moved into a new apartment and made arrangements to have our phone installed. This was in 1966. The telephone man came and commenced to do his thing to provide telephone service.
My three-year-old daughter mosied on over to where he was working and said, “My mommy has a kunk.”
The phone man looks up at my quite red face and I explained, “I have a pet skunk!”
“Oh,” he said and continued on doing his thing, with a big grin on his face.
Then I heard her say, “My mommy needs a new bug.”
Again, the phone man looks up at my red face and I explained, “She’s telling you that we rolled our Volkswagon bug over and it was demolished.”
“Oh, I see,” says the phone man, who continued on doing his thing, with a big grin on his face.
Then I said, “He, sweetie, what do you say you and mommy find something to do and let the phone man get our phone hooked up.”
Kids so say the darnedest things! – Terri’s mom in Wilton.

Mail to:
Funny Things Kids Say
Turner Publishing, Inc.
P.O. Box 214
Turner, Maine 04282

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We look forward to reading these submissions each week. Thanks!