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“The stairs are getting so hard to climb.”
“Since my wife died, I just open a can of soup for dinner.”
“I’ve lived here 40 years. No other place will seem like home.”
These are common issues for older people. And, you may share the often-heard wish—“I want to stay in my own home!” The good news is that with the right help you might be able to do just that.
What do I do first?
Planning ahead is hard because you never know how your needs might change. But, the first step is to think about the kinds of help you might want in the near future. Maybe you live alone, so there is no one living in your home who is available to help you. Maybe you don’t need help right now, but you live with a husband or wife who does. Everyone has a different situation, but one way to begin planning is to look at any illnesses like diabetes or emphysema that you or your spouse might have. Talk to your doctor about how these health problems could make it hard for someone to get around or take care of him- or herself in the future. Help getting dressed in the morning, fixing a meal, or remembering to take medicine may be all you need to stay in your own home.
How can I help my older relatives stay independent?
As they grow older, some people start having trouble doing everyday activities like shopping, cooking, and taking care of their home or themselves. Is this happening to any of your relatives—our parents or an aunt or uncle, for example? If so, talk to them about getting help. Maybe you can offer to get information for them. Think about what you and others in the family can do to help. Talk to your friends whose relatives may be facing the same kinds of problems. Ask about the solutions they found. Then let your relatives know what you have learned. You might be able to help them develop a plan.
What kinds of help can I get?
You can get almost any type of help you want in your home—often for a cost. The following list includes some common things people need. You can get more information on many of these services from your local Area Agency on Aging, local and State offices on aging or social services, tribal organization, or nearby senior center.
Personal care. Is bathing, washing your hair, or dressing getting harder to do? Maybe a relative or friend could help. Or, you could hire a trained aide for a short time each day.
Homemaking. Do you need help with chores like housecleaning, yard work, grocery shopping, or laundry? Some grocery stores and drug stores will take your order over the phone and bring the items to your home. There are cleaning services you can hire, or maybe someone you know has a housekeeper to suggest. Some housekeepers will help with laundry. Some drycleaners will pick up and deliver your clothes.
Meals. Worried that you might not be eating nutritious meals or tired of eating alone? Sometimes you could share cooking with a friend or have a potluck dinner with a group of friends. Find out if meals are served at a nearby senior center, church, or synagogue. Eating out may give you a chance to visit with others. Is it hard for you to get out? Ask someone to bring you a healthy meal a few times a week. Also, meal delivery programs bring hot meals into your home.
Money management. Do you worry about paying bills late or not at all? Are health insurance claim forms confusing? Maybe you can get help with these tasks. Ask a trusted relative to lend a hand. Volunteers, financial counselors, or geriatric care managers can also help. Just make sure you get the referral from a trustworthy source, like your local Area Agency on Aging. If you are familiar with computers, you could pay your bills online. Check with someone at your bank about this option. Some people have their regular bills, like utilities and rent or mortgage, paid automatically from their checking account.
Be careful to avoid money scams. Never give your Social Security number, credit card account numbers, or bank account numbers to someone on the phone (unless you placed the call) or in response to an email you receive on your computer. Always check all bills, including utility bills, for charges you do not recognize.
Even though you might not need it now, think about giving someone you trust permission to discuss your bills with creditors or your Social Security or Medicare benefits with those agencies. Or, you could give overall permission to handle a variety of legal matters for you in the form of a durable power of attorney. “Durable” means the permission remains in effect if you cannot make decisions yourself, but you can change the power of attorney or cancel it at any time.
Health care. Do you forget to take your medicine? There are devices available to remind you when it is time for your next dose. Special pill boxes allow you or someone else to set out your pills for an entire week. Have you just gotten out of the hospital and still need nursing care at home for a short time? The hospital discharge planner can help you make arrangements, and Medicare might pay for a home health aide to come to your home.
Be prepared for a medical emergency
If you were to suddenly become sick and unable to speak for yourself, you probably would want someone who knows you well to decide on your medical care. To make sure this happens, think about giving someone you trust permission to discuss your health care with your doctor and make necessary decisions. One way to do this is through a durable power of attorney for health care. A durable power of attorney for health care allows you to name a health care proxy—someone to make health care decisions for you any time you can’t. This is part of an advance directive. Another part of an advance directive, called a living will, allows you to decide in advance how much or how little care you want near the end of life.
If you can’t remember what the doctor told you to do, try to have someone go to your doctor visits with you. Ask them to write down everything you are supposed to do, or if you are by yourself, ask the doctor to put all recommendations in writing.
