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The Worst Films of 2019
By Lucas Allen
Not only 2019 gave us some new cinema treasures to admire, but it still has its fair share of failures. But while the year was known for some franchise-ending flops like “Men in Black: International,” “Rambo: Last Blood,” and “Terminator Dark Fate,” these five films range from disappointment to just very bad on the entertainment scale.
Believe the truth when the following titles seem destined to be better seen on a random TV channel on a weekend afternoon than being seen in a pricey movie theater.
5. The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
The sequel has some hilarious moments, including the voice cast, but it couldn’t match the clever and creativity of the first film. It wants to further the ideas while catering to the younger crowd with brighter colors and manufactured pop music. The end result is a sequel that not just unsatisfied its fan base, but also ended a potential franchise containing DC heroes and villains plus new and established characters in different, colorful worlds. With Warner supposedly selling the LEGO film rights to Universal, who knows what the new studio could do with the newfound property?
4. Where’d You Go Bernadette?
Cate Blanchett may be a great actress, but what she sees in Richard Linklater’s overly-long script is something audiences had a hard time understanding. Truth be told, this is one of those projects with some exciting talent behind it yet they could not save it. The lead character is unlikable, the story contains questionable moral choices, and this film didn’t shine a light on mental illness. It was based on a best-selling book, but it easily falls into the category of “the book was better.”
3. Gemini Man
Just because your movie boasts groundbreaking CG and filmmaking technology, it doesn’t mean people will go see it for the gimmick alone. They want to see a movie full of action, a good story, and anything to pique their interest. However, nothing about this film was interesting enough to stand on its own. Basically, this movie had too much on its plate and doesn’t know where the pieces go in the right order. Say what you will about the recent live-action Aladdin with its CG Will Smith, but it was still colorful and more fun to watch than this bargain-bin action film.
2. The Kitchen
If The Irishman was the grand epic mob film destined to be in the genre group as “The Godfather” and “Goodfellas,” then this film has no business being called one. With a script lacking proper character development, egregious pacing issues, and a waste of its talented female cast; it’s no wonder that the movie suffered a quick, painful death at the box office. Not only that, it couldn’t compete or (at the very least) show enough inspiration with genre king Martin Scorsese especially with the legendary director’s latest masterpiece. Some things are done better by the people who’ve done it long ago.
1. Stuber
For a stupid comedy that thinks it’s being clever and funny (see also “Good Boys”), this movie is a failure on all counts. It combines stereotypical humor, Mr. Magoo, cop drama and the horror stories of Uber with unbelievably bad results. If they were going for satire within a buddy action movie, then Monty Python was more of a pro combining satire and violence than this film. No amount of Dave Bautista could help lift this film off the ground.
Hopefully the new year and decade will help lead us to a brighter movie future with new ideas and innovations. If not, we’ll have to settle for more comfortable theater seating with bigger cup holders that you can also fit your silent smartphone with.
PHOTO: Stuber, top worst movie of 2019.
