Woman’s search for father begins in childhood

Remember the first time you consciously laid eyes on your father? Probably never given it much thought, right? I mean, after all, you were just a baby, right? Meeting your dad was one of the many things growing up that just occurred naturally. But what if you only knew about him but had never met him, even if he was still alive?

Brandi Burton, from Georgia, by way of Maryland, had often asked her mother about her father, but all Burton ever received for information was that both her parents had served together in the Navy when they were in Rota, Spain.

Burton was only seven years old when she seriously began questioning her mother. Her mother told her that he had received a hardship discharge when he returned to the states because both of his parents had passed away rather suddenly. “She told me his family owned a farm in upstate New York and that they had lost contact. The story she was giving me just did not seem complete. She gave me a letter and said that was all the information she had from him. It was sent from a Brian S. Thomas in Buffalo, New York,” said Burton.

The inquisitive mind of a seven-year-old child was not to be tampered with. Burton would sneak that letter out of her mother’s room and study the handwriting. She especially remembers one sentence in that letter that read, “How is the baby?”

“I was a bit confused as to why he did not address me as ‘our daughter’ or by my name,” recalls Burton. “It was clear to me that yet again, a big piece of information was missing.”

When Burton became a bit more computer savvy, she began searching for her father on her own. She checked hundreds of MySpace profiles for any man named Brian Thomas. She sent out numerous messages to the ones who looked or sounded like they might be the Brian Thomas she was looking for, asking if they had been in the Navy and other related questions based on what little information she had to work with.

“Unfortunately, before my search could yield any results, my mother found out about the MySpace account and made me delete it. I got in a lot of trouble so I laid off the searching for a while. I stuck the letter away where my mom could not find it and kept reading it over and over again,” said Burton.

At the age of 12, Burton’s family was evicted from their house. She asked her older brother to go back to the house some time later to retrieve the letter, but a flood had washed away all traces of that letter, along with Burton’s hopes of finding her father.

When the social media phenomenon, Facebook, erupted on the Internet, Burton once again began searching for Brian S. Thomas, checking profiles and sending more messages. This continuous searching went on for the next eight years.

Never one to give up, Burton even contacted a television show that specialized in reuniting people.

“The producers called me, interested in doing a search and eventually an episode, but they also told me they simply had to have more information about my father. I once again pried my mother for any additional information that could help,” said Burton.
After 20 years, Burton’s mother told her that her birth father’s middle name was Sterling and that he had been stationed in Keflavik, Iceland while serving in the Navy. Burton relates that even with this additional information, the television show producers stated they still did not have enough to work with to continue a search.

Devastated, but determined, Burton then began searching online directories. Anyone who has done online searching realizes most names are all too common and Brian S. Thomas is no exception. Phone calls went out to every Brian Thomas in New York, even outside of New York, just in case he had moved.

“Every attempt to locate my father was just another let down”, said Burton. “One day, I decided to look up military reuniting pages on Facebook. I found one called ‘NAS Keflavik, Iceland.’ I joined and automatically posted to the group that I was looking for a ‘long lost family member.’ I got a lead, but not one that I was expecting.”

One of the members recommended the Facebook group, www.facebook.com/groups/USAMilitaryDirectory/.

On Jan. 9, 2014, Burton posted this message on the USA Military Directory page: “Looking for a Brian Thomas, was stationed last in Keflavik Iceland early 90s-95, he was a ctr3 & E4, Navy. If anyone knows anything please let me know!”

For the next few months, a number of possibilities were shared with Burton by the group’s searchers. Surely, some of those numbers had to have been called by Burton in years past. Letters were sent whenever a number had been disconnected, an all too common occurrence.

A year went by, as does life, as did Burton’s life. On Feb. 15, 2015, Burton once again posted a message to the USA Military Directory FB group: “Eight years of searching and still no luck. Please help me! I’m looking for a Brian Sterling Thomas. He was stationed in Keflavik, Iceland, 1993-94. He was Naval security group activity-NSGA. He was CTR 3 Thomas. He worked out of Rockville but lived in Rayklavic (Iceland) at the time. I’m not sure where else he was stationed. He was processed out under a ‘hardship’ and that would have been stateside. If anyone has any leads, please, please, please let me know!”

When I saw that Burton had posted the same basic message over a year ago, I decided to take this case on, “on a personal level.” Surely, the middle name Sterling had to be a fairly uncommon middle name. Using some of the basic search engines available online, this bit of information came up.

Beverly Jean Manners
Birth date: 5 JUL 1932
Birth place: Punxsutawney, Jefferson, Pennsylvania, United States
Death date: 14 OCT 1994 Death place: Cataraugus, New York, United States
Spouse: John Leland Thomas (Deceased)
Siblings: Theodore Albert Manners, David Eugene Manners
Children:
Gary Eugene Thomas
Raymond Charles Thomas
Brian Sterling Thomas
Virginia Lee Thomas
Janet Eleanor Thomas

There it was, the name of Brian Sterling Thomas, with ties to New York, Cataraugus, New York, to be exact; Cataraugus is only 52 miles from Buffalo.

Leads based on the information we now had led to several more phone calls with much the same results as had previously occurred.
“You gave me four to five phone numbers to call along with the city and state they were listed in. I began calling them. Only two of the numbers were not disconnected. I talked to the first Brian Thomas’s wife. The info that she gave me about her husband did not match the person I was looking for. I called the last number that was not disconnected. A woman answered the phone. Any other time, I would’ve beat around the bush about my reasoning for calling, but in all honesty, I was exhausted after searching for so long and I felt like this was my last chance of hope. So I told her the exact reason why I was calling,” said Burton.

“I was looking for my father. I gave her all the info I had about him and it all matched. She was in complete shock. She informed me that she was his sister in law and that she didn’t feel comfortable giving out his number, but that she would tell him I called. I didn’t expect to ever hear back from him again. But, to my surprise, the next day I got a phone call from my father. It was the most awkward, tense phone call I have ever experienced in my life. We didn’t know what to say to each other. I told him that he had a grandson who was almost six months old and a soon to be son-in-law. We ended the phone call but kept in contact via texts after that,” said Burton.

“Over time, my father explained to me that he had asked for a paternity test from my mother, but that she had simply refused and went MIA after that. I couldn’t help but believe him since I had a letter proving he tried to get in contact with her multiple times. We agreed that we were going to get a paternity test done and go from there.

“Over the next few months we began talking on a regular basis. I asked him questions about himself in hopes that I would find some similarities between us two and boy, did I! Brian was the male version of me to a T!

“He started asking me if he could come to Georgia to meet me. I was hesitant so I asked a private detective friend of mine to do a background check on him. It came back clear, so I agreed to the meeting.

“Brian Sterling Thomas drove 13 hours on April 23, 2016 to meet me, my fiancé, and my son. We met at a little family-owned restaurant about 10 minutes from my house.

“When we first pulled up, I begged my fiancé, Fred, to turn the car around and go home. Here was my father whom I had searched for my entire life sitting in a car next to me. Fred convinced me to get out of the car.

“He greeted my father first with a handshake. At that point my father turned to me and said, ‘Nice to meet you’ followed up by a hug. We went inside to eat where he sat there staring at his grandson.

“It was without a doubt a nerve-wracking, but beautiful moment. Over the next week we got to learn a lot about each other. We spent every day together answering and asking questions. My son, Nathan, automatically took to him. We liked and disliked all the same foods. We even found out where my attitude came from,” said Burton.

“There was not a doubt in my mind after the time spent together that he was my father. We ended our week with laughter and tears, and a promise to get together soon. Since the trip we have talked on a daily basis. Normally it’s just small talk about the weather, work, friends, family. Burton concluded, “Some days it’s a heavier conversation, about how we wish we could’ve met sooner.”